Because It’s Funny- Communication 

 -Because I have obviously been terrible at this concerning our Blog…

      -It seems like such a simple thing
     -It takes a life to master (at least I think so)

This was not my major in college. I don’t really know how beneficial it would have been anyway. I understand the concepts; the execution is what gets a bit messy. Why are there so many scary emotions that arise when we are asked to be vulnerable? What does that even mean, vulnerable? Well, my handy dandy right click synonyms feature tells me susceptible, weak, helpless, defenseless, and exposed. All sound terrifying. If we were speaking in the physical sense, I believe my brain would trigger our instinctive the fight or flight reaction. However I know from experience and beautiful speakers like Brene Brown (http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability) that vulnerability is the only way to true freedom and happiness.

Even after repeated hurt and disappointment we can choose to forgive again and again. That level of trust and courage to try again is what we find inspiring in so many of our heroes. Take for example Ms. Honey, from Matilida. Even though her childhood was tortuous and abusive, she chose to love and not allow bitterness or a hardened heart to dictate her whole life. Her bravery dramatically changed the path of another, Matilida, and at the same time, helped to heal Ms. Honey.

As a teacher, I think Ms. Honey is the bomb. But we all look up to characters like her, because we yearn for that same openness, even in the face of fear. That’s what makes life an adventure.

I never had a Agatha Truchbull in my childhood. In fact I’d rate my adolescent years as above average. I’ve also been enormously blessed by strong supportive relationships in my young adult life. However, I still feel my heart retract back in fear at the unknown future. Curling into a miniscule existence when I realize how enormous, uncertain and unpredictable our world and our people really are. I’m terrified at my own weakness and frail humanity. If I struggle and fight with changing my own faults and failings, I am even more helpless to change others. In the chaos of all this, a deceptive fear creeps in to steal my joy. Change is great for uprooting questions and fears that might not be easily identifiable, and even more difficult still to wrestle.

Communication, vulnerability, and an honest openness are the only guides I know along the path out of that chaos. Not even out, but through, or within the mess; the only thing that makes the wreckage worth trudging thorough.

I try to teach my first graders to talk about their feelings. To let others know when they are hurt or sick or feeling lonely. I explain it’s what friends do, it’s how we make peace, and it’s what Jesus would want (benefits of a Catholic School!). And then I step back and laugh at how many adults (myself included) can’t or don’t do that. We get hurt or scared or sick (of someone) and expect them to read our mind, or ration that talking it out with others will somehow remedy the issue.

Most of the time, I think this comes from a lack of perspective, understanding or fear of having to admit our own failing in the problem or a lack of love. Love can fix it all, for sure.

Love is the cure. It is the antidote for our fear-ridden world and our fear-ridden hearts.

Haha and even after reading this back over, I don’t know if I clearly communicated what I wanted to. But I’m trying to and I’m learning too, and maybe that’s the most important part anyway. 

Oh yes, and side note/HUGE note and HAPPY note. I'm engage now (if you are reading this you probably know already). He is handsome, brilliant, faithful and good and I'm one happy gal! 

Till next time, 

Carly Rose