Because It’s Funny- Communication 

 -Because I have obviously been terrible at this concerning our Blog…

      -It seems like such a simple thing
     -It takes a life to master (at least I think so)

This was not my major in college. I don’t really know how beneficial it would have been anyway. I understand the concepts; the execution is what gets a bit messy. Why are there so many scary emotions that arise when we are asked to be vulnerable? What does that even mean, vulnerable? Well, my handy dandy right click synonyms feature tells me susceptible, weak, helpless, defenseless, and exposed. All sound terrifying. If we were speaking in the physical sense, I believe my brain would trigger our instinctive the fight or flight reaction. However I know from experience and beautiful speakers like Brene Brown (http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability) that vulnerability is the only way to true freedom and happiness.

Even after repeated hurt and disappointment we can choose to forgive again and again. That level of trust and courage to try again is what we find inspiring in so many of our heroes. Take for example Ms. Honey, from Matilida. Even though her childhood was tortuous and abusive, she chose to love and not allow bitterness or a hardened heart to dictate her whole life. Her bravery dramatically changed the path of another, Matilida, and at the same time, helped to heal Ms. Honey.

As a teacher, I think Ms. Honey is the bomb. But we all look up to characters like her, because we yearn for that same openness, even in the face of fear. That’s what makes life an adventure.

I never had a Agatha Truchbull in my childhood. In fact I’d rate my adolescent years as above average. I’ve also been enormously blessed by strong supportive relationships in my young adult life. However, I still feel my heart retract back in fear at the unknown future. Curling into a miniscule existence when I realize how enormous, uncertain and unpredictable our world and our people really are. I’m terrified at my own weakness and frail humanity. If I struggle and fight with changing my own faults and failings, I am even more helpless to change others. In the chaos of all this, a deceptive fear creeps in to steal my joy. Change is great for uprooting questions and fears that might not be easily identifiable, and even more difficult still to wrestle.

Communication, vulnerability, and an honest openness are the only guides I know along the path out of that chaos. Not even out, but through, or within the mess; the only thing that makes the wreckage worth trudging thorough.

I try to teach my first graders to talk about their feelings. To let others know when they are hurt or sick or feeling lonely. I explain it’s what friends do, it’s how we make peace, and it’s what Jesus would want (benefits of a Catholic School!). And then I step back and laugh at how many adults (myself included) can’t or don’t do that. We get hurt or scared or sick (of someone) and expect them to read our mind, or ration that talking it out with others will somehow remedy the issue.

Most of the time, I think this comes from a lack of perspective, understanding or fear of having to admit our own failing in the problem or a lack of love. Love can fix it all, for sure.

Love is the cure. It is the antidote for our fear-ridden world and our fear-ridden hearts.

Haha and even after reading this back over, I don’t know if I clearly communicated what I wanted to. But I’m trying to and I’m learning too, and maybe that’s the most important part anyway. 

Oh yes, and side note/HUGE note and HAPPY note. I'm engage now (if you are reading this you probably know already). He is handsome, brilliant, faithful and good and I'm one happy gal! 

Till next time, 

Carly Rose 

Seeing God's Goodness

Hi friends!!

How are you? I hope you are doing so well. Sorry some time has passed since we last spoke. I feel like that is usually the first line or two in Mine or Carly's posts but thanks for being an avid reader of this little slice of heaven in the World Wide Web. It's funny how places, people, and situations end up taking a big place in your heart when you least expect it. This little blog always seems to do the same. Our love for the little things is definitely not a coincidence for a theme of this blog ;)

For some of you who know me best, you could probably get a hunch some of the aforementioned blog post to "drive out fear" was directed at me. I wish I could say otherwise- but it's true. To be honest- for the longest time I never really knew I did that. Living in fear. Being fearful or unsure was just a natural inclination from growing up I had no clue I had hardened my heart so much.

Seeing the beauty of the Cross to unharden hearts.

I've been reading though- a great book called ' Consoling the Heart of Jesus'.  So much of the book focuses on His heart and not our own. It has been so refreshing to read. One of the points that drove home for me was the part about a hardened heart.  It can be so easy to close our hearts off to others ; to let the fear keep us from living a truly full life. But when we do this- we close off the opportunity to invite The Lord and others in, and then have an inability to truly see the gifts God sends us every day.


Snow in Dallas!

Now, by no means am I an expert at driving out fear at all at this point. But, by focusing on the heart of God's mercy I can trust He will always be with me in every step. Not promising suffering won't come my way, but instead guiding me and loving me in each moment when I am in the joys and tough times in this Life. Only love from above can un harden our hearts.  

So for February my goal has been to see something beautiful each day by writing down when I saw God's goodness in my life. Knowing He is here with me helps me to let go of this fear that I am so tired to call a companion of mine. While fear I'm sure fear will try to creep in sooner rather than later I am thankful for this gift of feeling liberated from it by consoling the Lord's heart which has been pierced. What is there to fear when the Maker of our hearts is in control of our lives?

From the Diary of St. Faustina which the book quotes:

"You should not worry too much about adversities. The world is not as powerful as it seems to be." (1643)

"Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy"

Here is to seeing His goodness and leaving an old friend 'Fear' at the door.

Until next time at the little bistro set.

Cheers,

Elizabeth

Driving Out Fear

First of all it's been entirely too long. And that is completely my fault. Hopefully we can pick back up where we left, as old friends do. I can't begin to catch up on all the happenings since November, so I'll begin with the present. Last week one of the readings from mass was 1 John 4:18 "there is no fear in love". This message has always stuck with me, and in a lot of ways puzzled me. In my experience there is plenty to fear in love. In many cases, love is associated with fear, fear of suffering pain because of love.  Adele gets it as she beautifully belts "sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead". Hurts is a weak word for the pain I've both experienced and witness in others in the name of love. 

Good reminder in our newly remodeled house.  It's what gets us through. 

So then one has to ask, whats the remedy or root of this? Is is better to become a critique, a distant bystander that bitterly holds on to the memory of that pain as reminder to not wander of the road of safety? But, is that safe path really better? I am currently reading "The gift of Imperfection" and while many of the messages portrayed in this writing speak truth, one particular truth settled deep with me. It's the idea that you can't stifle one emotion, without stifling all. I can never live fully alive, or experience real love if I repress the pain, and at the same time, being closed to true vulnerability doesn't ensure a lack of pain, but promises a life of numbness. 

What I find interesting in myself and in some of my closest loved ones, is even in we understand this fact, living it out in day to day life and thoughts is all together different. If repression, fear and worry are our automatic responses and mindsets, even though we know happiness is the goal, anxiety and over-thinking is still the comfort zone. Happiness and venerability are unfamiliar and therefore feared. 

One of my favorite ways to clear my mind-running

The classroom of silence is a powerful place. Many people are so uncomfortable with silence maybe because there is a lot of unresolved issues in our hearts that easily rise up in a peaceful place, because they are contrary to the surrounding. In my experience it's a good indicator that I'm in need of healing when the silence becomes uncomfortable. In that space between the silence and our reaction we have a choice. That space is what separates people into those who strive to live fully alive and those who choose to ignore or skim the surface of whats happening within and ultimately in life. That space is powerful, because it gives us the chance to choose and maybe if we choose time and time again to be vulnerable, to resist the power of fear and the comfort of worry. To break the shell that makes us fearful of love. If we could allow our Father to wipe away the guilt and that voice telling us we are unworthy of love and unworthy of happiness, we can start to have room to listen to a different voice. One calling us to joy. Not to a life free of suffering but to a perfect love. A love that drives out fear. 

Beautiful place of silence at the Chapel of St. Basil

Sounds simple right? Probably not, but I'm going to keep trying it and your welcome to join the party :) 

Thanks for stopping by dear. Lets make this happen more. 

Take Care, 

Carly Rose